“Cause we all make mistakes sometimes, and we all step across that line, but nothings sweeter than the day we find, we find… “ TobyMac, Forgiveness

“Are we too far apart, two worlds among the stars, You’re gonna take a piece of my heart if you leave, So it’s two separate ways, or am I too late to say, We gotta fight for what we got,cause I believe in family…” TobyMac, Family

“Cause she was made for me You gave ‘er to me I said I’d hold on loose but I so wanna squeeze you Just right for me and for the life of me can’t believe I get to call her mine”
TobyMac, Made for me

Marriage. Family. Love and forgiveness. Themes in my life. Relationships in my life. We all need forgiveness.( for our own healing) We all want to be close to family, but sometimes we have to walk away from hurtful relationships. I believe in family. I believe that in family we should be honest, encourage/speak life, and love and forgive. I believe in marriage. I believe that communication, honesty, love and forgiveness, and encouragement are vital in marriage.I believe that my husband was made for me. I am so grateful. Some days I can’t believe how in sync we are. Some days I think wow how different we are. But, EVERDAY I try to remember just how lucky I am and where God has brought us. I’m telling you Mr. TobyMac’s album Eye On It, really is an album after my own heart.

Further explanation….

For the past eight years of my life, God has been working not only on me, but on my relationships. Marriage. Family. Love. Forgiveness. It is all intertwined. Marriage and family are not easy. They are made up of imperfect people. People with different thinkers. People with different ideas, likes, and dislikes. People with different beliefs. We are all people with free choice and free will. In order for relationships to work we have to be able to own our responsibilities. We have to be able to admit when we are wrong and apologize. We have to be able to reasonably communicate with love and respect, patience, kindness, and logic.

Forgiveness takes one person. One person willing to let go of the past. One person who wants to be free of bitterness and anger. It never excuses the wrongs done, but it allows us to move on in our life and heal. We can forgive someone and never be in relation with them again.

Reconciliation takes two. It is the mending of a relationship. It is not excusing the past. It is acknowledging the past, taking responsibility for wrongs and behaviors. It is owning up and apologizing. Being ready to change and grow. It is having a healthy relationship. I’ve been estranged from some of my family. I know how difficult it can be. I also know that I had to walk away. One day I hope for reconciliation. I have already forgiven.(And forgiveness is a process, but the right path for healing)

All I can say is love, forgive, make good choices (and when you don’t, apologize), take responsibility for your actions,be honest, and be tactful. When you’ve done your part, owned your part, and others are still unwilling to own theirs, then forgive and move on.  It can be heartbreaking. It can be difficult. But, sometimes all that is left is to accept the things we cannot change and go our separate ways.

helmschick –out

Toby Mac, Eye on It  continued from yesterday.  Here are some of Mr Mac’s songs from the Eye On It album and what they mean to me or how they apply to my life. An album after my own heart. Thank you Mr. Mac for your obedience to God. Your music touches hearts and souls!

Thankful for You

I love to write. I believe with all my heart it is something God given. My poetry is not the most eloquent. It can be pretty simple and sometimes down right cheesy. My grammar is not the best either.  However when the words start flowing, I obediently grab pen and paper so I won’t miss a thing. I am so thankful for my relationship with Christ. It is the world to me. I feel freer in my life than I have ever been. I am thankful for any and all talent and gifts He has given me. May they always be used for His glory. I’m also thankful for my family and friends. I’m thankful for the encourager’s and positive life breathers in my life.  “But I can say without a doubt, I never had it figured out, Lord you’ve opened every door I’ve stepped through, yea..”

Me Without You

“Where would I be without you?”  Without God in my life, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. With Him anything is possible. Eight years ago I rededicated my life to Christ. I was going through a terrible storm. I was at the end of me and I prayed God, please help me. Then I sought him like never before. I wanted to know what being a Godly woman, wife, and mother, looked like. I wanted to become the woman I was meant to be. Through all my trials and deepest sorrows, God has been with me. He has sustained me, held me, encouraged me, and loved me. I am so grateful. I’ve wrestled and surrendered. Then repeated. I’ve questioned. I’ve gotten mad. I don’t have all the answers, but that’s okay. Because without him, “I’d be packing my bags when I need to stay, I’d be chasing every breeze that blows my way, I’d be building my kingdom just to watch it fade away, its true…”

Lose Myself

“Your kingdom I desire, I wanna lose myself, lose myself, to find you…” Once again being Christ centered is my number one desire. I want to be sharpened. I want strongholds to be broken. I need truth to set me free. “Create in me a pure heart” (Psalm 51) I want my thoughts, my heart, my mind to be changed for the better.  I want to seek Him with all my heart. I want to know Him more. I want to surrender what comes humanly natural and become more spirit sensitive. I want prayer to be my first instinct. “Take all that was me and shape it to be reflecting you soully…”

Tomorrow I will discuss the songs Made for Me, Family, and Forgiveness.

helmschick –out

Currently Eye On It By TobyMac see related

TobyMac is my favorite Christian music singer/songwriter.  I have a few, but TobyMac is at the top of the list. The first time I ever heard of Mr. Toby (Kevin Michael) McKeehan was in a band called DC Talk. Loved me some DC Talk. Jesus Freak, What If I Stumble, Consume Me, My Will, Mind’s Eye, In the Light, those songs inspired me and moved my soul, mind, and heart. 

Earlier this year or end of last year, I purchased TobyMac’s Moving Pictures DVD. It is a collection of some of his music videos. My kids fell in love with his music. They were “Boomin’ out the stereo system” to his “funky Jesus music”.

The day his new cd, Eye On It, hit the stores I went out and purchased a copy. I love this cd. It is so good. There are so many songs on it that correlate to things going on in my life and themes in my life. I thought because I love this cd so much, I would share some of my favorites and why or how they speak to me. So, in honor of getting to go see him live in concert this week, here is my first post about Mr. TobyMac.

One of his songs on the record is called Mac Daddy. It’s a song he wrote with his son Tru. It’s about Tru wanting a Macintosh laptop. It is easily one of my favorites because of it’s clever and witty lyrics. It made me giggle and want to jam at the same time. It is also one of the most difficult songs to get out of my head. The kids and I have been known to make up our own silly songs around the house and poems. Also, when I was a kid it was something my dad and I would do too. So, it is easy to see how it speaks to my heart. 

Tomorrow I will talk about Me Without You, Lose Myself, and Thankful for You.

helmschick –out

I’m still here. I’m still writing. I’ve just been super busy. First of all I have been loving the new TobyMac cd, Eye On It. Blog entries to soon follow. My husband bought the family tickets to the TobyMac concert for my birthday. The concert is next week and I am SUPER EXCITED!! I just know it will be awesome and my kids are going to love it!

Next, I have had the privilege of spending some time with my Grandma. She had a stroke the first week in August. Grandma stayed with me for two weeks and then went home for a few days. Now she is staying another week with me. She has been making strides in her recovery. Her and I hadn’t spoken in over a year because of issues with my parents. I know she may not always agree with the choices I’ve made but she respects me and understands. We have had the chance to get to know each other better and reconcile. I know she loves me, accepts me, and has a better understanding of who I am as do I her. It has meant the world to me. I am so grateful for this. We’ve had a great time watching The Voice, reading books together, singing hymns, talking about life, and talking about our Heavenly Father. The kids have been enjoying her visits as well. They’ve introduced her to Harry Potter. They are now on the third movie. We’ve also introduced her to TobyMac and chocolate gravy. And grandma has watched a football game or two with Brent. Grandma will be celebrating her 80th birthday this Saturday. I am told that she would love to enjoy a steak dinner. (I should also mention that she is one tough cookie, because earlier this year she had heart valve replacement surgery as well.)

Well that is my update for now. More blogging to come soonish.

Peace, love, and Jesus,

helmschick –out

The sweetest woman
I’ve ever known,
Has left this world
And gone home.

She is there,
With the loves of her life,
The Lord of Lords, Jesus
And her other half, Lee Roy.
What joy,
It must have been
United in Heaven with them.

We cry because we will miss her
We cry because we can’t hear her sweet voice
And see her smiling eyes,
But we are so comforted to know
She is in Paradise.

We love you MawMaw Helms
We will not forget you.
Thank you for showing us Jesus.
Thank you for being who God made you to be.
You have blessed so many.

There are some things in this world,
One cannot count on,
But, One can hope for.

I am not surprised,
by what God can do with any situation and/or circumstance,
I am simply amazed and in awe.
In awe of His love,
His goodness,
His question and/or response,
For they keep me saying WOW and AWESOME.

We find what is lost,
When we open our minds and hearts,
And let God in.
Surrender and obedience do not come naturally.
When accomplished they are as natural as breathing.

What we think are mysteries and/or puzzles,
Are merely Divine plans,
Beautifully created and laid out.
Most Absolutely, Definitively, executed.

Brutal anguish and grief,
Need not be the end of us…
NO.
Healing is always a choice.
Living, and when I say living,
I mean feeling, loving, moving forward, growing.
Living is Always an option.

Today, I watched the movie, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I have never heard the phrase about “his boots” before. I tried googling it. All I came up with was the author of the book. Maybe, it was his invented line. I do not know for certain, but I loved it.

I have moved on in my life. I am, a phrase I’ve read before, “better not bitter.” My earthly father, obviously still has deep issues with me. When last I saw him,( because of my grandmother’s stroke 3 weeks ago) I was invisible to him.

“His boots are heavier, than mine are.”

I feel sadness for him. I hope that one day his boots will be much lighter.

helmschick –out

My battle these days has been these annoying uninvited visitors called Hives. I have no clue why they come and go but mostly they seem to stick around more then they go. I haven’t eaten anything different. My detergent isn’t new. I’m not using new bath wash. Since January I have been dealing with these pesky perpetrators. In the past 3-4 weeks they have been darn near impossible to get rid of. I don’t want anymore steroids. I’m sick of Benadryl and Atarax. I was going to visit an allergist, but my husband had the great idea to call my chiropractor. More cost effective and I love it because he tries to do things the holistic way. My chiropractor suggested we try some homeopathic medicine called Adrisin for allergy relief and a detox kit that I add to water everyday for 4 weeks. For the hives themselves, he suggested some colloidal silver ointment. He also advised that things may get worse before they get better. Tonight I am feeling the worse. I’m trying not to scratch like a dog with fleas. I’m really hoping that I’m on the path to answers. It’s tough being the Queen of the Hives!

My husband remarked that I am the “gray area” girl. We first started seeing the chiropractor because of my TMJ. TMJ is something you will always have once you have it. Unless you are miraculously healed. With TMJ there is no one answer to helping it. You have to try a few things and see what works for you. Now this allergy business where sky is the limit on what can give you hives!

I’m praying and having patience. I’m trying not to complain too much. I’m taking oatmeal baths and/or epsom salt combined with baking soda to try to soothe the itching. I’m persevering once again.

Peace, love, & Jesus,

helmschick, Queen of the hives –out

Life is unfair.
Life is tough.
When life gives you lemons..
Life is a highway.
Life isn’t easy.

Life is what you make it.
Life is beautiful.
Life is full of tough choices isn’t it.
The storms of life are washing me away..

We live
We breathe
Sometimes we come apart at the seams.

We bend 
We break
We make mistakes

We laugh
We cry
We say hello.
We say Goodbye.
Inside we die, a little.
We search for an answer,
For life’s riddle.

A puzzle.
Puzzled?
Quizzed!
Fizzled out.

Out of time.
Out of mind.
Out of and into doubt.

Who am I really..
What do others see?
Do they know me?
This is silly.
Maybe, but really..

What do we fight for
Something or Something more, 
 Something Yes
And Something More.

Redemption
Restoration
Reconciliation,

No more condemnation.
Healing
Sanctity
Sanity

Freely me
Freely you.

Life will bend you
And sometimes you will break
Keep Perseverance
And God will give you strength,

Life is what you make it.

helmschick –out

I started my day off right this morning with a trip to the gym. I wasn’t feeling like it at all, but I made myself go. I did 40 mins cardio on elliptical and treadmill then 4x up and down stairs with 5lb weights. Then 10 mins of abs and stretching. My cardio tunes this morning:

1. Pumped Up Kicks       Foster the People
2. Fighter                 Christina Aguilera
3. Bad Moon Rising            CCR
4. Brighter Than the Sun         Colbie Calliat
5. Somebody That I Used to Know    Gotye
6.We are Young                  Fun
7. Give Your Heart a Break          Demi Lovato
8. Vogue                       Madonna
9.Tell Me Something I Don’t Know      Selena Gomez

I’m so glad I made myself go. It feels good. I’ve been going to the gym now officially and consistently for two months. Five to six times a week for 45 mins – 1hr a day. Woot!! Can’t wait to see where I am in a few months.

helmschick –out 

Found this quote on Pinterest from Livelifehappy.com :

“Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own.”

Last night I think I had another breakthrough on some of this grief and pain that still lingers. Healing is a process. Forgiveness is a process. Accepting and moving on is a process.
This morning I wrote this down at the gym.

Peace that surpasses all understanding
Peace like a river
Peace of body mind and soul
Peace that dwells in your heart
Peace to know your working it out
Peace that rebukes all ounce of doubt

Speaking your piece/peace in truth and love
Speaking your heart to your Father above
Peace because you know
Your moving on and letting more go

It is so comforting
It is so soothing
I am not defeated discouraged or broken
I am where I need to be
Trusting and Healing
Getting to know peace.

Also, anytime I think of Peace, I think of Rich Mullins song Peace (Communion Blessing from St. Joseph’s Square). It’s really pretty. The words are beautiful. Many times they have spoken and ministered to me. 

“And may peace rain down from Heaven
Like little pieces of the sky
Little keepers of the promise
Falling on these souls
This drought has dried
In His Blood and in His Body
In the Bread and in this Wine
Peace to you
Peace of Christ to you”  

Peace, love, and Jesus,

helmschick –out